I (like probably most of you) was always taught that "honesty is the best policy". As an adult I fundamentally believe that, but sometimes I question whether it is ALWAYS the best policy?
What happens when, you are in a relationship and you tell your partner about past relationships or about conversations with friends or about things yu have done (just sharing) and, at the time you tell them they just listen or contribute to the conversation like it's all good.
Then that dreaded day comes when he/she is in a bad mood, or is upset with you because of something totally unrelated and BAM! They throw all the things you told them back up in your face! "Yeah, I bet you would tell me anything just to get what you want, because that what you did to so and so". HUH?
Now, when this happens, it pisses me off. But later I am faced with do I stop being open and honest? Do I stop sharing? Which will change the dynamics of the relationship and also change me because I am the kind of person who is just naturally open. Or do I continue to be me and just risk the vomit (throwing it back up) that comes later? Or, a better question, do I need to just change my listener? Hmm......
COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MY REPORT ON DONNIE SIMPSONS' SON'S WEDDING!
9 comments:
Hahaha...Yah never learn...Brotha's don't want to hear about that.They just trying to see if you haveany horish ways..lol Can't believe you fell for that trick...lol
I don't think you should stop being honest. The past is the past. If your audience has a problem with what they hear, they are free to change the channel, but you have to be honest to yourself. If your past comes up and you feel comfortable sharing it, share it. I am a firm believer that relationships should be based on honesty more than anything else. At the same time, the past should only be used as a reference source, not a precident. Learn from it, but don't always accept it as the standard. It's a shame when people use other peoples past against them in a disagreement. It's not fair at all.
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Either way, I'll be back to check out your page from time to time.
I'm an open chica, too. I don't see the point in hiding who I am. I can't change who I was back then, and I certainly don't plan to change who I am for a guy. I may change my bad habit of not vacuuming every day, but a dude will not change my sunshyne.
So if he can't handle the truth (and it'll set you free), then change the listener.
Pics on the wedding please!!!
i can relate totally! i'm very open also, but as i've gotten older i've realized that you have to be careful about sharing certain information with certain people. some of them just can't handle it.
I've had this done to me so many times in the course of my different reltionships. When it has been done to me I take the high-road and say: "it hurts me to know that you would take my words and try to use them against me. I never figured you would be the type of person that would use my openess to close me. I find it quite sad that our relationship isn't evolved enough to share all aspects of who I am with you"
Usually this makes most men stop and think . . .and I usually haven't had to say it but maybe twice . . .
Just found your blog; I like I like!
I will defintely be back. Say hi when you can
e.
eclectik-relaxation.com
@Anonymous #2: Wow, that would shut their mouth! I am gonna save that and use it, if you don't mind :-).
Be you and drop that Busta!
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