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Drea's World

Welcome to what goes on in my mind. Some days it will be nothing, other days it may be too much. But here is where I choose to unload. Feel free to visit often.

About Me

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What can I say. I sing with a band, mostly R&B, Pop, etc. I am an avid book reader, mostly fictional (gotta get away sometimes). I am a mother of two and believe it or not a "grandmother". I am still rolling my eyes at my son for that one. I am a very straight-forward person. I am no sugar-coater so if you don't want to hear what I really think, please don't ask me!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Spinning my wheels - going nowhere fast.

Do you ever feel like no matter how much you do and no matter how well you do it, you will never get to where you are trying to go? I wrote in a previous post about getting some projects done that I have put off but this isn't about that. This is about my job. I have been a federal government employee for over 20 years. In that time I have reassigned to different areas to avoid stagnation (is that a word?). This recent group that I reassigned to back in 2007 is shaping up to be my biggest failure in terms of my career. Here at my agency they have what is called a PMAP which is basically a performace review. It is based on several elements which usually do not change from one year to the next. Based on how well you perform each element you receive a numeric score. In the end, you will either be Exceptional, Fully Successful, Minimally Successful or Unacceptable. In this new group, I have never been more than Fully Successful. Please note that while we are told there is no official criteria for being rated Exceptional, there are a chosen few who seem to meet that level of performance on a regular basis (go figure). Anyway, that is not my issue today. My issue today is my score under fully successful. As I mentioned earlier, I reasssigned to this group in 2007. When I received my PMAP review in 2007, my score was 3.0 which is the lowest you can score in the fully successful range. Okay, I am new at the job so I will take that. This is coming from a position where I was exceptional so it is a pill to swallow but moving along. By 2008, I have learned to work independently on the same elements I had in 2007 but one new element has been added to address professional growth. Guess what my Fully Successful score is for 2008? A - 3.8 (a 4.3 is the highest you can get under Fully Scuccessful before they bump you to Exceptional) so I am on my way after just 1 year in this group, right? In 2009 my score drops to 3.0. Whoa!!! That is significant and I am doing the same work at the same level. I monitor this and wait. 2010 my score is 3.3 and I decide at this time to ask what is the requirement to get an exceptional? No criteria. I push back on the criteria and the way I am being scored. So, 2011 comes and I am presented with my review after being told that I am such a great employee and that I can be depended upon to get the work done. Mind you, in addition to my own work I have been assigned to help with other co-worker's work when they are overwhelemed. This is not because I have nothing else to do but because I flow through my work rather quickly - organization and a great team in the region is the key. My 2011 review scored me a 3.0!!! So, I am back to where I was 2 years ago, really? I take this to my superiors and question how they are coming up with this score. They suggest that maybe the elements are different - no. Perhaps it is because of the different reviewers - the PMAP is supposed to be standardized to prevent that from being an issue so - no. Then I am told that it is because I have not developed enough in the professional development element. You mean the area I talked to you about and explained that I cannot take time for that because I am constantly being assigned to help others? I call bull on this!!!! I push back and it is changed to 3.4 - giving more credit in the area I worked more in which caused less work in the professional development area. Why do I feel like I just went through a round with Sirius radio? Have you ever called them to cancel service only to have them offer you a better price for the same service only because you pushed back? Sorta makes you wonder, doesn't it? Well, I am gonna slow the wheels down since it seems pretty clear that my Performance review is very subjective. I guess a new reviewer will make the difference. SIGH....

Unfinished Business

As I am typing this I am thinking of all of the projects I have started and just didn't finish which is very unlike me. For the most part, it isn't that I lose interest or don't want to complete the project. I just become overwhelmed with how to get it done and then convince myself that it isn't going to work and I put it away. Well, now I want to complete the projects and put them out there and see what happens. Nothing beats a failure but a try, right? So, I will be finishing a book I started writing YEARS ago and self-publishing it. I will get all of my songs copyrighted along with the recorded melodies. I will find tracks to go with the songs and I will begin working on my demo. I will keep searching for and find a play to audition for (I really want to do The Wiz). It is time for me to start working on my deferred dreams. I am writing it down and making it happen. Wish me luck!